Okay. Let’s do this. I’ve meant to do this, for what, a year? Two? No way I’m ever going to do it if I don’t start now, which is weird, for what’s so special about now? How is three years any different from two?
I guess it’s because this is now. And if, knowing I have the required time, resources and ideas to do it now, I don’t, how do I know I ever will? And if the only reason I have for further procrastination is to wait for a ‘better time’, well, there can always be a better time.
I digress. And that’s another reason I haven’t been able to do it all this time. You see, every time I’m about to start, I lose myself in thinking about what I’m about to do and how I’m finally going to do it after all this time until the moment of determination has passed and the task gets shifted to that never present tomorrow. But not anymore.
In case you’re wondering, this isn’t you reading my thoughts, this is you reading my reproduction of my thoughts, which makes you wonder whether this really is what I’m thinking, and to that I say, well, you’ll have to trust me to provide as accurate an account as possible, keeping in mind how much faster I think than I type.
“But why is he/she doing this anyway?”, the innocent reader wonders, “instead of simply doing whatever it is he/she is here to do?”, and it is a fair question, for clearly, I am not lost in thought like one of the other times. In fact, I might go as far as to say my thoughts are quite collected and focused on the job at hand.
Well, that’s because a friend recently told me that people in our line of work often face the same problem I did, and that putting down my thoughts before beginning should help me navigate them without getting lost. It’s supposed to act as a middle step between thinking about my job and actually doing it.
Oh! I am so sorry! In my excitement at the prospect of finally fulfilling my lifelong dream, I forgot to tell you what I’m here to do! I’m surprised you stayed this long without knowing what we’re here for, and also grateful. Well, for years I’ve wanted to –
– This isn’t going to work, is it? All I wanted was to write a story. Is that really so hard? For years, every time I sat down to do it, laziness prevailed and something came up, and now when I finally set aside time to write something, I wasted it making a goddamn diary entry!
Excuse me reader, for I have to leave now. But I promise you, you will get that story.